Me and my best buddy, Kev went to Las Vegas over the weekend to see a pal, the Cirque Du Soleil show “O” and the opening of their new piece ‘Zarkana’. Peeps who know me did double take when I said I was going to Vegas. Now I know why. I doubt that it’s news to anyone else, but what that place needs is a soak in the sheep dip, some herbal tea and by god, some proper shoes.
We stayed at the beautiful Bellagio hotel, the architectural stunner that houses ‘O’-- and that also
stinks.
There are fermented feet on hills of burning tires in fishmarts that smell fresher than the inside of the Bellagio. Seems all the remaining smokers in the world meet in the casino there to try to make a blackened bacon of each other.
Someone told me once- and perhaps it’s naïve that I believed it, but the image stuck-- that in medieval days they’d build whole beautiful castles and when rooms were all filled with excrement they’d just mortar them up and move into another, until the place was full of poo and they had to build another. Now that I write it, it seems a bit unlikely. But that’s what came to mind. Get the mortar.
Oh Vegas. Oh dear oh dear. The shoes. Oh dear. Now, were I a chiropractor, I’d move there post hasty. Things that were sold as shoes were actually toothpicks and made their wearers look like spangly hors d'oeuvres.
But enough of the grimlies.
What did I like about Vegas? Some things were just amazing.
1. ‘O’. Is certainly the bogglingest thing I have ever seen. I asked Sandi Croft, who runs the show why no one went arse over teakettle. She laughed her pate off. Least of the dangers, I gather, amid the mad acts of self-defenestration. My favorite bit was the ‘lobster people’— Three bendy-bendy girls in red who did bendy-bendy things that made my eyeballs knock against the bridge of my nose. And the red army in garters. And the dive-off. Who can describe it all? It’s what bogglement is all about. Make you go Wazzah?!#$%^&* - Ahzzum!
2. ZarKana: the new Cirque show. Some crazy steampunky deal that would make Georges Méliès http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JDaOOw0MEE yank off his own femurs and drum them against the lid of his casket with glee. I did have to laugh when I heard the performers in an interview talk about their narrative, because the narrative is not something that they share with the audience. Even the songs, sung with great passion, are glossollaliacal. As heartfelt as they, are they are lyrically the equivalent of Bladidahdidah. puttaputtaputta, Woggawoggawogga. So speak not to me of 'narrative.' There are, however, recurring themes that weave the performance together which are a lot of fun. It’s more of a five-dimensional painting (with electrodes that occasionally whip out and poke your unused bits of brain) than a story. What do you say to a girl who willfully balances upside down with one hand on the head of man who himself balances on a wobbly free-standing step-ladder on top of a grand piano? I'll tell you what you want to say. You want to say: Young Lady, come down here before someone gets a toe in the eye, and go to your room at once. But what you do say is: Don't mind me. I'll sit in the dark and sweat chickens. You just focus.
And then you sweat chickens.
There's a snake lady with an outstanding voice who just “gives ‘er’ as we Canucks say. No idea what she’s singin’, but by gum, she does awesome noise. I was imagining the English lyrics as she belted wildly:
I’ve got a boulder in my nose!
There's biscuits and gravy in my hose!
The audience is full of surf and turf, I can’t wait until we close! -- Like I said. They could be singing anything.
A 'seer' who draws the whole show in sand, and the two main clowns stole the show for me, as well as a liquid man in white. rolling about on a white circle. His bit was an elegant lily of a thing after all the Busy-busy Wow.
Loved the pants off this show. It repeats on one. In a good way
3. If you go way up the road there are red rocks and you can climb them. I wanted to eat the dirt. It’s very pretty.
4. Cactus gardens
5. A horse named Rosie and her pals. A dog named Bella.
6. You can get chicken noodle soup for breakfast.
7. The cab drivers
8. Anime Vegas…
Kevin and I stopped in at Anime Vegas for tea with Tara Strong and 400 of our closest friends. That was a highlight. The best of Vegas was in that room, and if you were there, I apologize if I hit you with a cookie. We were treated to a rendition of 'Gangnam style' of unsurpassed gigglery, and lots of hugs. Tara was up to her shenanigans again. Gotta love that awesome chick. No really. You gotta, or she'll thump you. -Lates.
We stayed at the beautiful Bellagio hotel, the architectural stunner that houses ‘O’-- and that also
stinks.
There are fermented feet on hills of burning tires in fishmarts that smell fresher than the inside of the Bellagio. Seems all the remaining smokers in the world meet in the casino there to try to make a blackened bacon of each other.
Someone told me once- and perhaps it’s naïve that I believed it, but the image stuck-- that in medieval days they’d build whole beautiful castles and when rooms were all filled with excrement they’d just mortar them up and move into another, until the place was full of poo and they had to build another. Now that I write it, it seems a bit unlikely. But that’s what came to mind. Get the mortar.
Oh Vegas. Oh dear oh dear. The shoes. Oh dear. Now, were I a chiropractor, I’d move there post hasty. Things that were sold as shoes were actually toothpicks and made their wearers look like spangly hors d'oeuvres.
But enough of the grimlies.
What did I like about Vegas? Some things were just amazing.
1. ‘O’. Is certainly the bogglingest thing I have ever seen. I asked Sandi Croft, who runs the show why no one went arse over teakettle. She laughed her pate off. Least of the dangers, I gather, amid the mad acts of self-defenestration. My favorite bit was the ‘lobster people’— Three bendy-bendy girls in red who did bendy-bendy things that made my eyeballs knock against the bridge of my nose. And the red army in garters. And the dive-off. Who can describe it all? It’s what bogglement is all about. Make you go Wazzah?!#$%^&* - Ahzzum!
2. ZarKana: the new Cirque show. Some crazy steampunky deal that would make Georges Méliès http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JDaOOw0MEE yank off his own femurs and drum them against the lid of his casket with glee. I did have to laugh when I heard the performers in an interview talk about their narrative, because the narrative is not something that they share with the audience. Even the songs, sung with great passion, are glossollaliacal. As heartfelt as they, are they are lyrically the equivalent of Bladidahdidah. puttaputtaputta, Woggawoggawogga. So speak not to me of 'narrative.' There are, however, recurring themes that weave the performance together which are a lot of fun. It’s more of a five-dimensional painting (with electrodes that occasionally whip out and poke your unused bits of brain) than a story. What do you say to a girl who willfully balances upside down with one hand on the head of man who himself balances on a wobbly free-standing step-ladder on top of a grand piano? I'll tell you what you want to say. You want to say: Young Lady, come down here before someone gets a toe in the eye, and go to your room at once. But what you do say is: Don't mind me. I'll sit in the dark and sweat chickens. You just focus.
And then you sweat chickens.
There's a snake lady with an outstanding voice who just “gives ‘er’ as we Canucks say. No idea what she’s singin’, but by gum, she does awesome noise. I was imagining the English lyrics as she belted wildly:
I’ve got a boulder in my nose!
There's biscuits and gravy in my hose!
The audience is full of surf and turf, I can’t wait until we close! -- Like I said. They could be singing anything.
A 'seer' who draws the whole show in sand, and the two main clowns stole the show for me, as well as a liquid man in white. rolling about on a white circle. His bit was an elegant lily of a thing after all the Busy-busy Wow.
Loved the pants off this show. It repeats on one. In a good way
3. If you go way up the road there are red rocks and you can climb them. I wanted to eat the dirt. It’s very pretty.
4. Cactus gardens
5. A horse named Rosie and her pals. A dog named Bella.
6. You can get chicken noodle soup for breakfast.
7. The cab drivers
8. Anime Vegas…
Kevin and I stopped in at Anime Vegas for tea with Tara Strong and 400 of our closest friends. That was a highlight. The best of Vegas was in that room, and if you were there, I apologize if I hit you with a cookie. We were treated to a rendition of 'Gangnam style' of unsurpassed gigglery, and lots of hugs. Tara was up to her shenanigans again. Gotta love that awesome chick. No really. You gotta, or she'll thump you. -Lates.
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