Sometime in the last two weeks the letters I received from cartoon viewers took a sharp turn. They jumped off the purple cliffs like lemmings and into the valley of purple where they have set up purple rondavels. Consider this message from afar: ('…' denotes small edited bits for brevity.)
Salutations from neither Romania nor Switzerland… Hello … whoever reads this I am a big fan… So, yeah... (BULK OF LETTER)
Yours faithfully, An Australian Fan P.S. (Attached is not actually my face, but the face of the late Kim Jong-il… apologies for any confusion.)
Yes he did send me a picture of Kim Jong Il. Which is something I'd been doing without. So that was considerate and clearly not the act of a Romanian.
Then came this scribe:
Dear Miss Tabitha, or whomsoever holds the Sacred Sceptre
I fear I shall have to send this message through many levels of the ethereal plane, to a place where… the alphabet hiccups. I tried hooking my computer up to a small windmill… You may be shocked to hear that various miniature equines you've brought to life have transcended their 2D boundaries and escaped. We do attempt to recapture them by leaving out iced tea and guava… We come down in the morning to find all the good whiskey gone… unsettling... Yours with respect … and possibly toast - A
It's as if the viewers finally have the measure of me! I'm delighted, but not sure what has happened to cause the viral lavender. Consider this poodle hailing from 'ponies with problems:'
As a fan of your rather vibrant voice work for the marshmallow pony on that one show about Technicolor equines I have to tell you that I admire your ambition… -a Dutch fan.
I can't imagine what 'problems' could beset someone who so fearlessly adjectivized a marshmallow. There should be an award.
Then came this nugget:
Dear fungi enthusiast,
As a practitioner of the way of the jib, I would just like to wish you a hello and how do you do. Your pursuits in the equine rounda-ma-roo have certainly been quite audible! In the best of waves, of course of course.
All the best, D.
What is this jib? This hibbly jibbly? This jaberhoosian wiggyflip?
A poignant letter next:
Just wanted to say, you are a great VA and why is the rum gone?
There was rum?
Quoi le champignon???
Dear average Fungus,
I write…on a dial up connection hooked up to a rock from some south pacific Island, so i'll probably lose reception… I need some wisdom. What is the love of your life? What is the life that you love? And what is some hibbly jibbly you can go without?... Some hibbly jibbly ide rather not … is Peruvian Funk Punk. Normally I can listen to any kind of music, but… cant stand the mountainous energy the genre gives off. --Some young hooligan
Average Fungus, hunh? Well, okay. I can go with that. And I know the Hooligan's are questions of universal value, so I'll tell you what I think I told it. The hibbly I can do without is when you have to cut your friends nose ring off of your mum's afghan with pliers. Universal dilemma, right?
'YODA JUJU.' I'm Irish and I've never used this term.
So good to clear the air.
Even more on the spore theme from this funny gent name of Alex L :
…Ps. I wonder if there is a Tabitha Street in Germany... Perhaps I should take a package containing mushrooms and enjoy the confusion I might cause…
Well. Feel free to enjoy my confusion. I am.
I ask you. What has befallen the public pudding?